A Wretch Saved.
I got in a wreck yesterday morning. Oh you might say. But it was more like Oh my freaking goodness I am about to die! Anyway I thought I would let you know the thoughts that were going through my head as I was veering across lanes and slamming into concrete walls. I thought one of them was quite random and was surprised that it was one of my first thoughts.
1.) I am crashing. This is happening.
2.) These people think I’m crazy. <——This is the random one. Why the hell should I care when I’m about to die or be severely dismembered?
3.) I can’t believe no one has hit me yet. I can’t believe no one has hit me yet. Repeat. Repeat.
4.) That was weird. (upon stopping it was as easy as pulling into a parking spot)
5.) Praise Holy God Almighty. I am not dead. I am not broken. I am here.
6.) Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
So there you have it. My random thoughts.
Oh yeah then I had to tell Marcus that I wrecked his truck. Oops! 
Not fun.
God is good!
He’s got the whole world in his hands…
….of this I’m sure.
Am I Crazy?
Ok I used to think my husband was wacked! But maybe I’m the one who is crazy. I’ll let you be the judge. Marcus follows this website for his workout routine. This is the work out for today:
“Murph“
For time:
1 mile Run
100 Pull-ups
200 Push-ups
300 Squats
1 mile Run
Partition the pull-ups, push-ups, and squats as needed. Start and finish with a mile run. If you’ve got a twenty pound vest or body armor, wear it.
Ok so what do you think? Please leave a comment and let me know. Don’t try to change his mind…. you won’t. (And don’t be mean either cause he’s my friend!)
I’ll tell you what I think. First you see it says “for time”. The only time I would get on this workout is a time of death. Second it says run one mile. Now I know there are some of you out there that love to run. Kudos to you my dear friends. I do not understand you and I think you are crazy. Third who in the hell can do ALL those push ups, sit ups, and squats? Fourth you see it says run one mile (again for the second time)!!! Not walk or crawl or have your friend or a total stranger drag you across the concrete. (Which I’m sure would feel better that running another mile.) Don’t worry you can “partition the pull ups, sit ups, and squats as needed”. But for the grand finally you can wear a 20lb weight vest if you have one. (And my husband has one.) Why would I want to add 20 F-ing pounds to a body that can’t even run the first mile to start with?
For the faint of heart we should probably just start here. Just call me buttercup!
Anyways my blood pressure is up and I haven’t even done anything. Have a great Monday! Don’t try this workout at home if you are not very active. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for anyones death.
This can not be healthy……..
New Chapter
Today Marcus and his cousin Josh entered the Police Academy. In six months we will add 2 new cops to the family. HPD has a career blog here. Congratulations Cadets! I love you guys!
Philippians 4:10-13
In response to my last post:
Phil. 4:10-13
I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content with whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Jesus (Him) who gives me strength.
We studied this in church today. It was much needed. I can say now that I can be content in my situation. Not happy but content. Not that I have ever had great physical needs but I see how it relates to great needs of the heart. I know God sees me and through Him I can do all things. He will provide for my physical needs as well as my heart needs as long as I am willing to be content in my suffering and wait on Him.
Some people may say I’m crazy but I believe God intends for His people to suffer. I think I would be sad if I left this life without suffering.
Standing Down
***This post was initially just a journal entry for myself but when I finished it I thought someone else might benefit from the rawness of it. Reach out. He is there. You can feel Him. Hold His hand. I am.***
I have decided to give up on having another (more) child (ren) either by birth or adoption. Maybe it is just surrendering, which I should have done a long time ago and I thought I had. I don’t guess I got it then. It is full of emotion and feels like defeat. I thought I could make it out of this on my own free will. I lied. To myself. It hurts to put it all down. To leave all the wishing and hoping. To push it as far back in my mind as it will go. I always thought “Man I am handling this so well”……”I think I’ll be ok”…… Now that I have made the decision to put it away I am an emotional crap bag. Leaking and oozing. Bound to rupture at any given moment. I long to be the mommy to the baby/child that has none. I long to show them Jesus when they might not have been given the chance. I long to hold a baby of my own. I’m giving up on “sooner rather than later”. Now I will wait. I used to know it would happen and I still think it will (I hope). Oh how sweet it would be. Here I go through the valley. This is the test. Will I follow Him through suffering long enough to come out the other side? I am willing to try. I know He will hold my hand. I think I am learning something.
MySpace
I decided to do a re-vamp of my myspace. After a looong absence from it I decided it is still a reflection of who I am so I should at least maintain it or get rid of it. For a while I was a myspace hater. I guess we should never neglect our image or something like that.
I love this guy.
His work ethic is amazing and he deserves to be the Champion. I am a happy girl! 
How to buy a child in 10 hours.
Slavery. <—Click here for video. To me it is a shame that you have to meet many qualifications and wait a year or years to adopt children from Haiti when you can haggle to purchase one for $150 in 10 hours.
Update: I do not want to be misunderstood about what I mentioned in this post. I believe that Haitian parents love their children very much and this is one way that they try to provide for them the best way they know how. They do this in hopes that their children will receive food and basic physical needs on a daily basis as well as a brighter future. I am not comparing child purchase to adoption in any way either. Adoption is not always the best option for every child. Nor is it the easiest solution. I just wish there were more ways to get these children and their parents what they need to stay together. And I know that there are people out there working to make that happen. (I am frustrated with my inability to explain this and hope I haven’t screwed it up trying.)
Hippie movement.
I have noticed that reformed hippies have done a lot to deliver people. They don’t look for the fame in it all. They look only for love. In the past few months I have met or read about several people that were once drug abusing hippies. Now they are clean and although they are still hippies they are doing wonders for those around them. I think in general they are people that are willing to share the love that they have experienced in their life. Not because it does anything for them but because they have a heart to see people delivered from whatever is consuming them. Be it drugs, poverty, sin, religion, fame, depression, or anything else. Imagine how good it would feel to be a vagabond living life just helping the ones you come in contact with. Maybe you don’t share that opinion exactly but you get what I mean. Now more than ever I am confident that hippies have delivered more people to the foot of the cross than I could imagine. Think about it! It’s crazy!
